Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
