Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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