The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
