i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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