Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
