Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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