i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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