i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
