For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
