Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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