went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
