I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
