Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sponge bath it is.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize