I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
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