end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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