My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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