So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
