It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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