We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Drake has all the answers
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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