Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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