so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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