was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
