matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
