Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
