Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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