think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
