just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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