how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
