...so i touched it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
