Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
