How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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