the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
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