please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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