I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
