I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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