and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
