today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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