i may or may not be watching the land before time
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
