Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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