Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
