Swine flu. Run for my life!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
