also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
