Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
