Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
