I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
