turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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