Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
