you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
