We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
