He is an equal opportunity slut.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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