Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
